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Intentional Parenting: 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family – Take time to unplug

Here are a few ideas which may get you thinking of how you can do “small things often” and turn towards your partner to show them you are loving them intentionally. In turn these small things will add to your emotional bank account, deposits that create a stronger bond in your partnership.

  • Hengchen et al (2014) came up with 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family. Try using these motivations in your own household.
  • 2. Take time to unplug – When I get home from work I try to put my phone on the counter so I’m not tempted to look at it and can give my family my full attention. Think about when you are out with friends or on a date. Do you find it rude, or distracting when they are on their phones the whole time? I don’t want my kids to feel neglected because mom is always on her phone. It’s also a great way to model good behavior when it comes to setting rules on screen time for your children.

    By setting intentions for family time, it takes pressure off of you and your family to accomplish those unreasonable resolutions. Use this year as an opportunity to create a fresh start. Be intentional with your family.

    Remember that these motivations aren’t all or nothing. Some days you will succeed in some areas and lack in others, and that’s okay. The purpose of setting intentions is to make your goals obtainable for you and your family.

    References

    • Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, Jason Riis (2014) The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior. Management Science

    Tune in for more tips and ideas next week.

    Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the new video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM

    Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

    Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf

    For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or support with a couple or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

    PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

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    Intentional Parenting: 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family – Spend 1:1 time with each child

    Many people make resolutions around their own lifestyle changes that will improve their quality of life. While we tend to make unobtainable goals, many people still have a go, and some succeed. Researchers call this feeling the “fresh start effect”. They have found that we tend to motivate ourselves into good habits by using a new beginning (like the start of the week, month, year, season, etc.) as a marker to put past behavior behind us and focus on being better. It brings opportunity to reflect on the previous year and anticipate what you want the New Year to look like.

    Here are a few ideas which may get you thinking of how you can do “small things often” and turn towards your partner to show them you are loving them intentionally In 2019. In turn these small things will add to your emotional bank account, deposits that create a stronger bond in your partnership.

    A goal for you might be about the quality of time you spend together versus the quantity.

  • Hengchen et al (2014) came up with 8 ways to be intentional with the time you have to spend with your family. Try using these motivations in your own household.
    1. Spend 1:1 time – If you have more than one child how can you make them feel special and loved? Spend time with them individually! Kids crave one-on-one time with their parents. It makes them feel special, you get to connect and catch up with that child, and it can strengthen your bond. Make sure both parents take turns. Some examples: have one child run errands with you, take a walk around your neighborhood, do your chores/projects together, play a favorite game with them, use your time in the car driving your child to activities.

    By setting intentions for family time, it takes pressure off of you and your family to accomplish those unreasonable resolutions. Use this year as an opportunity to create a fresh start. Be intentional with your family.

    Remember that these motivations aren’t all or nothing. Some days you will succeed in some areas and lack in others, and that’s okay. The purpose of setting intentions is to make your goals obtainable for you and your family.

    References

    1. Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, Jason Riis (2014) The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior. Management Science.

    Tune in for more tips and ideas next week.

    Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the new video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM

    Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

    Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf

    For more information on PREPARE/ENRICH or support with a couple or to simply set up a couple on the tool, please contact: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich #strongerrelationships

    PREPARE/ENRICH is a customised online assessment tool that identifies each couples unique strength and growth areas. Based on their assessment results, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills.

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    PREPARE/ENRICH – Core and Going Deeper Training Hornsby Nov/Dec

    The Core Training Day includes all aspects of the Customised Version necessary to enable and accredit the Facilitator to use the material immediately.

    The fee covers the programmed two day arrangement. It is preferable when the Core and Going Deeper Training days are run consecutively, that participants attend both days. If that is not feasible or is not available, you can attend the Going Deeper Training day within 12 months from the Core Training workshop, as advertised on this website.

    The Going Deeper Day is a follow-up and consolidation day. It includes skills training and practice opportunities for working with feedback techniques and workbook exercises. The day covers selected content and processes relevant to working with step-families, mature age couples and conflicted couples.

    It may be taken when registering as part of a programmed two day arrangement, or if that is not feasible or is not available, on a day to be selected (within 12 months) from the Core Training workshop, as advertised on this website.

    The Core Training Day is a prerequisite to the Going Deeper Day.

    Who may train to administer the inventories?

    Persons working with couples (eg. marriage celebrants, educators, counsellors) who already have formal training as a –

    • Pastor/priest/minister/rabbi.
    • Counsellor/Psychologist
    • Educator
    • Social Worker
    • Worker trained in another relevant human resource discipline

    and –

    • Lay people, who also have training in the above areas, nominated by, approved by, and supervised by and accountable to leaders of the institution (eg. clergy, pastors, priests) within which they will work. We are prepared to train such individuals and couples but they need to be selected and nominated with care.  Just because they are church members and have participated in a PREPARE/ENRICH program as part of their own preparation for marriage is not a sufficient qualification. It is important to consider their knowledge and skills.
    An Early Bird Discount of 10% is available if you register and pay up to 30-days prior to Facilitator Training.
     

    Please refer to full the terms and conditions including the cancellation policy here: www.prepare-enrich.com.au/terms-conditions

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    Text, Twitter, Tweet… talk with your teen about how to behave on the web

    Today’s parents must navigate how, when and to what extent they oversee their teens’ online and mobile activities. Knowing when to step back and when to take a more hands-on approach is challenging.

    A new US report from the Pew Research Center on parents of 13 to 17-year-olds finds that parents take a wide range of actions to monitor their teen’s digital life and to encourage their child to use technology in an appropriate and responsible manner.

    Here are six takeaways from the report:

    6. Nearly all parents have talked with their teen about how to behave on the web. More than nine-in ten parents have discussed what is appropriate to share online (94%), what constitutes appropriate online behavior towards others (92%) and what is appropriate content for teens to view online (95%).

    Whether or not parents frequently discuss acceptable conduct with their teen varies by a number of demographic characteristics. For example, mothers are more likely than fathers to report talking frequently with their teen about appropriate online and offline behaviour.

    There are also differences based on household income. Across the five types of conversations measured, parents who are less affluent are more likely than those from higher-income households to have these regular conversations. And Hispanic parents (51%) are more likely than white (32%) or black (32%) parents to frequently speak with their teen about their online behaviour towards others.

    In summary, 84% of parents report taking at least one of these six steps to monitor or restrict their child’s online activities, while 16% indicate that they have not taken any of these actions with their teen.

    Reference: www.pewinternet.org/2016/01/07/how-parents-monitor-their-teens-digital-behavior/

    Monica Anderson is a research associate focusing on internet, science and technology at Pew Research Center.

    Tune in for more tips and ideas next week.

    Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the new video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM

    Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

    Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf

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    Text, Twitter, Tweet… Limiting your teens online screen time

    Today’s parents must navigate how, when and to what extent they oversee their teens’ online and mobile activities. Knowing when to step back and when to take a more hands-on approach is challenging.

    A new US report from the Pew Research Center on parents of 13 to 17-year-olds finds that parents take a wide range of actions to monitor their teen’s digital life and to encourage their child to use technology in an appropriate and responsible manner.

    Here are six takeaways from the report:

    5. Limiting online screen time isn’t always a consequence of bad behaviour: 55% of parents say they limit the amount of time their teen can go online, regardless of behavior. Moreover, parents of younger teens are especially likely to place limits on their teen’s internet use.

    Whether or not parents frequently discuss acceptable conduct with their teen varies by a number of demographic characteristics. For example, mothers are more likely than fathers to report talking frequently with their teen about appropriate online and offline behavior.

    There are also differences based on household income. Across the five types of conversations measured, parents who are less affluent are more likely than those from higher-income households to have these regular conversations. And Hispanic parents (51%) are more likely than white (32%) or black (32%) parents to frequently speak with their teen about their online behavior towards others.

    In total, 84% of parents report taking at least one of these six steps to monitor or restrict their child’s online activities, while 16% indicate that they have not taken any of these actions with their teen.

    Reference: www.pewinternet.org/2016/01/07/how-parents-monitor-their-teens-digital-behavior/

    Monica Anderson is a research associate focusing on internet, science and technology at Pew Research Center.

    Tune in for more tips and ideas next week.

    Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the new video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM

    Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

    Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf

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    Text, Twitter, Tweet… friend or follow your teen on social media

    Today’s parents must navigate how, when and to what extent they oversee their teens’ online and mobile activities. Knowing when to step back and when to take a more hands-on approach is challenging.

    A new US report from the Pew Research Center on parents of 13 to 17-year-olds finds that parents take a wide range of actions to monitor their teen’s digital life and to encourage their child to use technology in an appropriate and responsible manner.

    Here are six takeaways from the report:

    4. Some parents take the additional step of friending or following their teen on social media. Some 44% of parents are friends with their teen on Facebook, while one-in-ten report following their teen on Twitter. In total, 56% of parents are connected with their teen on Facebook, Twitter or some other social media platform.

    In total, 84% of parents report taking at least one of these six steps to monitor or restrict their child’s online activities, while 16% indicate that they have not taken any of these actions with their teen.

    Reference: www.pewinternet.org/2016/01/07/how-parents-monitor-their-teens-digital-behavior/

    Monica Anderson is a research associate focusing on internet, science and technology at Pew Research Center.

    Tune in for more tips and ideas next week.

    Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the new video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM

    Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

    Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf

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    When Flipping your Lid is a Dangerous option! The Importance of Self Soothing

    This evening offers FOCCUS and Prepare facilitators the opportunity to learn new skills and explore creative approaches to working with couples as they prepare for marriage.

    When Flipping your Lid is a Dangerous option! The Importance of Self Soothing

    Stress is a normal part of life. Relationships can provide the safe haven from day to day stress. But what happens when interactions within the relationship feel stressful? How can we learn (and help our couples to learn) to turn off the alarm bell going off inside our head, give ourselves support in our mind, body and spirit? What methods of self-soothing can we develop to let ourselves know that we do have the resources to deal with whatever is troubling us in this moment? Are some methods of self-soothing healthier than others? What role can the partner play in this endeavour?

    This session will explore these questions by direct experience, experimentation and curious discussion.

    Presenter: Cathy Dixon is a psychologist and FOCCUS facilitator. She currently works as a couple counsellor at Relationships Australia Victoria in Kew. She previously was involved in marriage and relationship education with CatholicCare Melbourne for 17 years. She has undertaken teacher training in mindfulness at the Centre for Mindfulness Research and Practice, Bangor University, Wales. She is nurtured and informed by her mindfulness practice and enjoys leading Mindfulness training groups.

    Presenter:    Cathy Dixon

    When:          Thursday, 8 November, 2017      

    Time:           7.15pm – 9.30pm

    Where:         Knox Centre

    383 Albert Street

    East Melbourne

    Please enter building from car park entrance off Lansdowne Street

    (Car parking available behind Knox Centre, enter off Lansdowne St)

    Cost:            $15 per person MAREAA member OR $20.00 per person non MAREAA member

    Bookings and enquiries:

    Email: relationships@ccam.org.au or info@mareaa.asn.au

    Note  1   Payment to be made in cash at the door.

    Certificate of attendance for PD purposes will be available from MAREAA.

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    Text, Twitter, Tweet… know the passwords of your teen’s various

    Today’s parents must navigate how, when and to what extent they oversee their teens’ online and mobile activities. Knowing when to step back and when to take a more hands-on approach is challenging.

    A new US report from the Pew Research Center on parents of 13 to 17-year-olds finds that parents take a wide range of actions to monitor their teen’s digital life and to encourage their child to use technology in an appropriate and responsible manner.

    Here are six takeaways from the report:

    3. Many parents know the passwords to their teen’s various accounts and devices, but knowing your teen’s log-in information is not universal. Nearly half (48%) of parents say they know the password to their teen’s email account while 43% are privy to their teen’s cellphone password. Fewer parents – 35% – say they know the password to at least one of their teen’s social media accounts.

    In total, 84% of parents report taking at least one of these six steps to monitor or restrict their child’s online activities, while 16% indicate that they have not taken any of these actions with their teen.

    Reference: www.pewinternet.org/2016/01/07/how-parents-monitor-their-teens-digital-behavior/

    Monica Anderson is a research associate focusing on internet, science and technology at Pew Research Center.

    Tune in for more tips and ideas next week.

    Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the new video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM

    Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

    Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf

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    Text, Twitter, Tweet… parents employ “digital grounding” or restrict their teen’s online access

    Today’s parents must navigate how, when and to what extent they oversee their teens’ online and mobile activities. Knowing when to step back and when to take a more hands-on approach is challenging.

    A new US report from the Pew Research Center on parents of 13 to 17-year-olds finds that parents take a wide range of actions to monitor their teen’s digital life and to encourage their child to use technology in an appropriate and responsible manner.

    Here are six takeaways from the report:

    2. A majority of parents employ “digital grounding” or restrict their teen’s online access. Sixty-five percent of parents say they have taken away their teen’s internet privileges or cellphone as punishment, while half of parents limit how often their teen can be online.

    Pew Research Center surveys have found that 92% of teens say they go online daily, with 24% using the internet “almost constantly,” and nearly three-quarters of teens have access to a smartphone. Therefore, “digital grounding” is a potentially potent form of discipline.

    In total, 84% of parents report taking at least one of these six steps to monitor or restrict their child’s online activities, while 16% indicate that they have not taken any of these actions with their teen.

    Reference: www.pewinternet.org/2016/01/07/how-parents-monitor-their-teens-digital-behavior/

    Monica Anderson is a research associate focusing on internet, science and technology at Pew Research Center.

    Tune in for more tips and ideas next week.

    Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the new video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM

    Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

    Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf

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    Text, Twitter, Tweet… how modern parents monitor their teen’s digital

    Today’s parents must navigate how, when and to what extent they oversee their teens’ online and mobile activities. Knowing when to step back and when to take a more hands-on approach is challenging.

    A new US report from the Pew Research Center on parents of 13 to 17-year-olds finds that parents take a wide range of actions to monitor their teen’s digital life and to encourage their child to use technology in an appropriate and responsible manner.

    Here are six takeaways from the report:

    1. Parents are keeping a close eye on their teen’s digital life, but few do so by tech-based means. Roughly six-in-ten parents say they have either checked which websites their teen has visited or looked at their teen’s social media profile. And about half say they have looked through their teen’s phone call records or messages. But few parents are utilising more technical measures – such as parental controls or location tracking tools – to monitor their teen.

    Teens are increasingly using mobile technologies to communicate, share and go online.

    While parental monitoring by technological means is somewhat less common, some 39% of parents say they turn to parental controls or other technological tools to block, filter or monitor their teen’s online activities. And even fewer parents report using parental controls to restrict their teen’s use of his or her mobile phone (16%) or using monitoring tools on their teen’s mobile phone to track his or her location (16%).

    In total, 84% of parents report taking at least one of these six steps to monitor or restrict their child’s online activities, while 16% indicate that they have not taken any of these actions with their teen.

    Reference: www.pewinternet.org/2016/01/07/how-parents-monitor-their-teens-digital-behavior/

    Monica Anderson is a research associate focusing on internet, science and technology at Pew Research Center.

    Tune in for more tips and ideas next week.

    Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the new video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM

    Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

    Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf

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    PREPARE/ENRICH – Core and Going Deeper Training Parramatta October

    The Core Training Day includes all aspects of the Customised Version necessary to enable and accredit the Facilitator to use the material immediately.

    The fee covers the programmed two day arrangement. It is preferable when the Core and Going Deeper Training days are run consecutively, that participants attend both days. If that is not feasible or is not available, you can attend the Going Deeper Training day within 12 months from the Core Training workshop, as advertised on this website.

    The Going Deeper Day is a follow-up and consolidation day. It includes skills training and practice opportunities for working with feedback techniques and workbook exercises. The day covers selected content and processes relevant to working with step-families, mature age couples and conflicted couples.

    It may be taken when registering as part of a programmed two day arrangement, or if that is not feasible or is not available, on a day to be selected (within 12 months) from the Core Training workshop, as advertised on this website.

    The Core Training Day is a prerequisite to the Going Deeper Day.

    Who may train to administer the inventories?

    Persons working with couples (eg. marriage celebrants, educators, counsellors) who already have formal training as a –

    • Pastor/priest/minister/rabbi.
    • Counsellor/Psychologist
    • Educator
    • Social Worker
    • Worker trained in another relevant human resource discipline

    and –

    • Lay people, who also have training in the above areas, nominated by, approved by, and supervised by and accountable to leaders of the institution (eg. clergy, pastors, priests) within which they will work. We are prepared to train such individuals and couples but they need to be selected and nominated with care.  Just because they are church members and have participated in a PREPARE/ENRICH program as part of their own preparation for marriage is not a sufficient qualification. It is important to consider their knowledge and skills.
    An Early Bird Discount of 10% is available if you register and pay up to 30-days prior to Facilitator Training.
     

    Please refer to full the terms and conditions including the cancellation policy here: www.prepare-enrich.com.au/terms-conditions

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    Text, Twitter, Tweet… Men tend to use texting when avoiding confrontation

    Text as a casual method of staying in touch seems to be a good thing. Many people text to maintain the relationship however studies show that men and women generally text at differing levels of intimacy. Women do not generally text about severe subjects and men even less so.

    Men also tend to use texting when they are avoiding confrontation, while female texting frequency was positively associated with their own relationship stability.

    Lori Schade and Jonathan Sandberg, studied 276 young adults in the US to see what communicating through texts did to their relationship. 38 percent described their relationship as serious, 46 percent were engaged, and 16 percent were married. Each of them completed a detailed relationship assessment that covered, among other things, their use of technology.

    Here are a few highlights from the report they publish in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy:

    • For women: Using text messages to apologise, work out differences or make decisions is associated with lower relationship quality
    • For men: Too frequent texting is associated with lower relationship quality
    • For all: Expressing affection via text enhances the relationship

    Male texting frequency was negatively associated with relationship satisfaction and stability scores for both partners while female texting frequency was positively associated with their own relationship stability scores. Texting to express affection was associated with higher reported partner attachment for both men and women.

    References:

    • Louis D. Lo Praeste, death and texting, 25 October 2017,
    • Lori Cluff Schade, Jonathan Sandberg, Roy Bean, Dean Busby, Sarah Coyne 2013: Using Technology to Connect in Romantic Relationships: Effects on Attachment, Relationship Satisfaction, and Stability in Emerging Adults, P 314-338 Published online: 28 Oct 2013
    • BYU professors Roy Bean, Dean Busby and Sarah Coyne co-authored the study with Schade and Sandberg

    Tune in for more tips and ideas next week.

    Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the new video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM

    Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

    Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf