Premarital education: How to make it more than just a task on the wedding to-do list

Written By shane smith

Luckily, premarital education doesn’t have to be a one-and-done situation. Think of it more as planting a seed: you prepare the soil and give it water, sunlight, and fertiliser to provide it with the best chance to thrive. But the plant will continue to require care and nurturing to grow to its full potential.

Marriage educators who provide guidance and support for couples at this stage can effect their relationship for years to come. Here are some ways that premarital education can be an ongoing experience of growth for couples:

  • Be the driver of a meaningful experience.

  • Most couples do not seek out premarital education on their own; they do it because they are required to however the experience is often one that will stick with them long after the big day, instead of just another hoop to jump through.

  • Marriage educators can refer couples to proven resources such as books, podcasts, assessments, etc. so they can continue growing in their relationship beyond the wedding.

  • Having an ongoing relationship with a "mentor couple" - a couple whose relationship they consider a “role model” for their own is very effective.

  • Marriage educators can connect couples to a community, such as other engaged or newly-married couples at a church or through a family and relationship services organisation.

  • Relationship growth is an ongoing process, one that will hopefully continue throughout the couple’s life. “Perfection” is not the end destination in marriage and ongoing relationship education in a year or two to reassess their relationship can help.

  • Things that were once growth areas may now be areas of strength, or they may find that new issues have arisen.

  • Couples who practice the techniques over and over until they become second nature are often successful.

Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM.

Tune in next week for more discussion about relationships and mental health. 

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Written by Shane Smith
shane smith
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Often a goal of marriage and relationship education is to increase the assertiveness and active listening skills of one or both partners