The more assertive an individual, the more they like the personality of their partner, feel good about how they communicate and how they deal with conflict

Written By shane smith

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For Australia couples, measured over the past 8 years, statistics indicate that individuals who are Vitalised tend to be high in assertiveness and self-confidence and low in avoidance and partner dominance. Individuals who are assertive also tend to be self-confident and individuals who are avoidant tend to perceive higher partner dominance. Individuals who are high on assertiveness and self-confidence tend to be low on avoidance and partner dominance.

At the opposite extreme with Devitalised couples, we see the opposite pattern related to these four variables. On Assertiveness, Devitalised couples were low on average however, for Australian couples average scores were mid-steam on Self-Confidence indicating that Australian Devitalised couples are more self-confident that their US counterparts. Devitalised couples were both high on Avoidance and high in Partner Dominance.

Other relevant statistics suggest that Individuals who are high in Assertiveness tend to be:

  • Lower in avoidance

  • Lower in Partner Dominance

  • Like the personality of their partner

  • Feel good about communication with their partner

  • Feel good about conflict resolution with their partner

This means the more assertive an individual, the more they like the personality of their partner, feel good about how they communicate and how they deal with conflict.

People who are high in Avoidance tend to be:

  • Lower in Assertiveness

  • Higher in Partner Dominance

  • Dislike the personality of their partner

  • Dislike the communication with their partner

  • Dislike the conflict resolution with their partner

In summary, the more healthy and happy the couple, the higher both individuals are on assertiveness and self-confidence and the lower their scores on avoidance and partner dominance. On average assertive individuals tend to view their relationship as positive while avoidant individuals tend to view their relationship as negative.

This an important goal of relationship education in that by increasing the level of assertiveness and self-confidence in each individual, each is able to express their feelings, needs and preferences and in turn develop a better understanding of their partners feelings, needs and preferences.

In the positive cycle, as a person uses more assertiveness, their level of self-confidence tends to increase. As a person’s self-confidence increases, their willingness and ability to be more assertive increases.

In the negative cycle, when one person perceives their partner as dominating, a common reaction is for that person to avoid dealing with issues. As a person uses more avoidance, they will often perceive more dominance in their partner.Tune in next week for more tips and learnings and the value of knowing and using The Relationship Dynamics section of PREPARE/ENRICH.

Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM.

Tune in next week for more discussion about relationships and mental health. 

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Written by Shane Smith
shane smith
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Often a goal of marriage and relationship education is to increase the assertiveness and active listening skills of one or both partners
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evidence shows that AUSTRALIAN Devitalised COUPLEs couples are more self-confident that their US counterparts