comment Add Comment
Posted on Last updated

Make it your new year resolution to grow as a couple

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the idea that New Year’s resolution should result in a “new you.” But it’s your unique personality quirks that attracted you to your partner in the first place, and those traits are unlikely to change. By focusing your time and energy on creating positive growth in yourself and in your relationship, you can set yourself up for future success.

In practice: The key to relationship harmony is taking complex tasks and distilling them into a short list that you and your partner can understand and remember. And that list should be no more than three, at most. The fact that there are only three seems to be the sweet spot for what our brain can remember day-to-day.

This skill – to create simplicity out of complexity – is important for relationship harmony. In intimate relationships, planning requires two respectful minds communicating to create solutions. Beyond positioning and compromise, seeking to understand our partners growth areas, their needs and interests and finding solutions to satisfy both is vital.


List your three areas of growth in 2020 and discuss how you can achieve these goals, and how your partner can assist. When you create your goals, make sure they are realistic and clearly stated. If you are unsure of what outcomes to commit to, take some time with your partner and talk through what you want to get out of this experience. Will they:

  • Increase relationship satisfaction?
  • Provide greater understanding?
  • Enable greater support of each other?
  • Enrich our relationship?
  • Write them in a place where you can see them daily… maybe it’s a shared calendar or on a note taped to the bathroom mirror or the fridge. Keeping these visual reminders present during the time you are discussing progress reminds you of the energy you are putting into your relationship.
  • Accountability (or lack of it) can be the reason you reach (or fail to reach) a particular outcome. By reviewing your goals regularly (weekly if necessary) and holding each other and yourself accountable for achieving your goals is key.
  • Get cracking and make 2020 a year to remember.
  • Tune in next week for more relationship tips and ideas.


    The team at MAREAA wish all our members, friends and families and supporters, a happy, safe and enjoyable Christmas and New Year break.

    We thank you for your support in 2019 and we look forward to connecting and making 2020 a special year for marriage and relationship education across Australia.

    Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event.

    Check out the video for couples on YouTube: Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

    Join us at or sign up to our Newsletter: