Tagrelationship education
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Posted on by Shane SmithLast updated

Some couples move too quickly towards engagement and marriage, not allowing themselves time to really get to know one another: Exploring relationship expectations

It may be no surprise that seriously dating and engaged couples are more prone to “agree” or “strongly agree” with statements such as “We are as happy as any couple could possibly be!”

Almost intoxicated by love, engaged couples are often known for being infatuated with one another. They tend to be confident that they’ll never have problems or that existing problems will just fade away with time, they’ll never question their love, never experience a drop in romance, and already know everything there is to know about their partner. They truly are love struck.

The Problem with Unrealistic Expectations

While the phenomenon of being love struck is quite normal, it can also be a setup when experienced in extremes. There are several problems associated with unrealistic marriage expectations.

Moving too quickly: If I believe that nothing could cause me to question my love and I already know everything there is to know, why wait? Some couples move too quickly towards engagement and marriage, not allowing themselves time to really get to know one another.

It may be the norm for engaged couples to be love-struck, embracing romanticised notions regarding love and marriage or perhaps it may just be that humans are designed to function at a physiological level. Don’t sound the alarms or be overly critical but understand that couples may need to be more realistic about what they should expect from their relationship.

Marriage Expectations is a challenging, yet fun area of discussion for premarital couples, however whilst these couples often have a lot to discuss as they prepare for marriage, healthy dialogue about expectations is critical. The key question for exploration for engaged couples is:

  • “My partner is the only person with whom I could have a happy marriage.”

by Peter Larson, Ph.D.

Tune in next week for part 3.

References: Olson, D. H. (2004). PREPARE/ENRICH Counselor’s Manual. Minneapolis: Life Innovations.
Slater, L. (2006). True Love. National Geographic. February, 32-49.

Source: Peter Larson, Ph.D. 
References: Olson, D. H. (2004). PREPARE/ENRICH Counselor’s Manual. Minneapolis: Life Innovations.
Slater, L. (2006). True Love. National Geographic. February, 32-49.

Marriage Expectations is a challenging, yet fun area of discussion for premarital couples, however whilst these couples often have a lot to discuss as they prepare for marriage, healthy dialogue about expectations is critical. The key question for exploration for engaged couples is:

  • “My partner is the only person with whom I could have a happy marriage.”

Source: Peter Larson, Ph.D. 

References:

Olson, D. H. (2004). PREPARE/ENRICH Counselor’s Manual. Minneapolis: Life Innovations.

Slater, L. (2006). True Love. National Geographic. February, 32-49.

By Shane Smith, Director PREPARE-ENRICH, Relationship Educator and MediatorPresident, Marriage and Relationship Educators Association of Australia
Email president@mareaa.asn.au

Read on for various resources to assist you at this time. Finally, please let us know how you are going in these challenging times. 

For more information on the virus and the steps that can be taken to minimise its impact, visit the Australian Government Department of Health website.

Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM.

Tune in next week for more discussion about relationships and mental health. 

Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf

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Posted on by Shane SmithLast updated

Family breakdown and divorce directly costs companies in absenteeism and higher turnover expenses, and indirectly supporting less motivated and less healthy employees

Whilst Australia has seen a declining rate of marriage since 1947 – similar to other western nations – today more than 70% of women will marry in their lifetime, 1 in 5 marrying at least twice; with 4 in 5 couples living together before marriage (an increase from less than 1 in 5 in 1975). Lasting an average of 12 years, 1 in 3 of these relationships will end in divorce, most occurring in the primary producing years, around 45 for men and 43 for women in 2016 (ABS, 2016).

There is a significant impost on society and the impact on children and on government funding of supporting families in crisis is significant. In Kevin Andrews book ‘Maybe I do’, he claims that >$3 billion p.a. was spent on social security benefits associated with family breakdown in the 1990’s (Andrews, 2012). That figure is a lot larger today. In the UK, the cost to the economy of family breakdown in 2015 was estimated at £47 billion [or AUD$86 billion] (Ashcroft, J. 2015).

In understanding the effects of family breakdown and divorce on businesses, it is useful to understand that relationships are dynamic, that relationships are constantly progressing toward happy satisfying marriages, or regressing toward employees failing in their relationships and spiraling downward in dissatisfying relationships that often end in separation and divorce.

For the employee and for businesses, research suggests that happy employees increase profitability and have the potential through strengthened relationships at home and with business partners to accelerate business growth (Turvey et al, 2006). Additionally, research suggests that family role commitment is beneficial to managers, strengthening their leadership skills and overall well-being (e.g., Ruderman et al., 2002).

However, when relationships go wrong, these workers directly cost companies in absenteeism and higher turnover expenditures, and indirectly supporting less motivated and less healthy employees and through the societal effects of broken couple families. In Australia, research indicates divorce costs taxpayers an estimated ~$14 billion in federal and state expenditures annually (Andrews, 2012).

As the line between work and play continues to blur, employers are investing in wellbeing programs as both a social responsibility and a talent strategy. Leading companies are developing strategies that address societal concerns such as longevity and wellbeing – and doing so in ways that help improve productivity and performance.

If relationships are integral to all aspects of a fulfilled life – from exploring communication and conflict, to developing parenting skills, through to improving relationships and effectively communicating with family, friends, colleagues and business partners –  then it is in the interest of every organisation to assist employees to strengthen and build strong relationship skills.

Tune in next week to understand how the Value of Healthy Couple Families to Business.

References:

    Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), 2016: Marriage and divorces, Australia
    Andrews, K, 2012: Maybe ‘I Do’: Modern Marriage & the Pursuit of Happiness
    Ashcroft, J., (2015) www.relationshipsfoundation.org, Research note : https://relationshipsfoundation.org/publications/httpwww-relationshipsfoundation-orgcost-of-family-failure-47-bn-and-still-rising/ 23 November 2015
    Ruderman, M. N., Ohlott, P. J., Panzer, S., & King, S. N., 2002: Benefits of multiple roles for managerial women. Academy of Management Journal, 45, 369 –386.
    Turvey, M. D., & Olson, D. H., 2006: Marriage & Family Wellness: Corporate America’s Business? A Marriage CoMission Research Report. Minneapolis, MN

Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online: www.mareaa.asn.au

Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf
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Posted on by Shane SmithLast updated

Relationship Quality at home has a positive impact on Work Engagement

We all know that work life and family life are intertwined, and research supports this by demonstrating that companies benefit from employees who are highly committed to their roles as parents and spouses (Graves, et al, 2007). Conversely, employee performance and satisfaction occur easiest when outside influences like family are considered through workplace contracts and the provision of flexible work arrangements (Ford, et al, 2007).

However, the business world has typically underestimated the impact and value of marriage and relationship education and family wellness in affecting financial outcomes, and while there is a rising interest and investment in workplace health promotion programs, businesses and governments must recognise that there are significant benefits for profitability and productivity if they were to be more supportive of the relational and marital health of their employees.

How many employees are we talking about?

In Australia and according to ABS figures (June 2017), there were 5.7 million total couple families*, 2.6 million couple families with children or dependants including children under 15 and dependent students aged 15–24 years, and 3.1 million couple families without children under 15 or dependent students. 2.6 million were from opposite sex couple families with dependants and 57,900 same-sex couple families. There were 1.7 million couple families with children or dependent students where both parents were employed.

The chief Economist for the ABS, Bruce Hockman said that in June 2017 that 64% of couple families with children had both parents working, while a decade ago the proportion was 59%. “The increasing proportion of couple families with children where both parents work is an ongoing trend we have been observing for a decade, as female participation rates in the labour market have increased to the current record high of around 60%,” Mr Hockman said “Couple families with children with one parent employed full time and the other part time were still the most common group, at 35% in June 2017.” The proportion of jobless families (couple and lone parents) with children remained steady over the past decade at 12%, as did the proportion of couple families with children, at around 5% (ABS, 2017).

What can companies do?

In order to help couple families and companies develop strategies to deal with the multiple demands on employees and their personal relationships – particularly when raising children – it is vital to devise and implement policies to enable employees to have healthy, functional personal relationships, and be fully engaged at work.

Companies wanting to increase their profitability will do well to realise that business takes place in the boardroom and in the family room. Whether married or cohabiting, studies of the best programs teaching relationship skills to adults, centred around commitment, communication, and conflict resolution show that these programs can successfully reduce conflict, improve satisfaction and reduce divorce across a variety of settings and socio-economic groups (Carroll & Doherty 2003; Stanley et al 2006; Stanley et al 2014).

If relationships are integral to all aspects of a fulfilled life – from exploring communication and conflict, to developing parenting skills, through to improving relationships and effectively communicating with family, friends, colleagues and business partners –  then it is in the interest of every organisation to assist employees to strengthen and build strong relationship skills.

* Individuals who would identify as not being in a relationship and/or single are active and highly valued employees within the workplace and the content in this blog post is not intended to undervalue or de-value the important role they play in life more broadly as well as in the workplace.

Tune in next week to understand how the Value of Healthy Couple Families to Business.

References:

    Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), 2016: Marriage and divorces, Australia
  • Carroll, J. & Doherty, W. 2003: Evaluating the Effectiveness of Premarital Prevention Programs: A Meta-Analytic Review of Outcome Research. Family Relations, 52, 105–118.
  • Graves, L.M., Ohlott, P.J., & Ruderman, M.N. 2007: Commitment to family roles: Effects on managers’ attitudes and performance. Journal of Applied Psychology, 92, 44-56
    Ford, M.T., Heinen, B.A., & Langkamer, K.L., 2007: Work and family satisfaction and Conflict: A meta-analysis of cross-domain relations. Journal of Applied Psychology, 92, 57-85
    Stanley, S., Kline, G., & Markman, H. 2006: Sliding vs. Deciding: Inertia and the premarital cohabitation effect. Family Relations, 55, 499-509.
    Stanley, S., Rhoades, G. K. Loew, B. A., Allen, E. S., Carter, S, Osborne, L. J., Prentice, D., and Markman, H. J., 2014: A randomized controlled trial of relationship education in the US Army: 2 year outcomes. Family Relations, 63, 482-495

Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf

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Posted on by Shane SmithLast updated

The Benefits of Relationship Education and Family Wellness Programs for Business Productivity

We all know that work life and family life are intertwined, and research supports this by demonstrating that companies benefit from employees who are highly committed to their roles as parents and spouses (Graves, et al, 2007). Conversely, employee performance and satisfaction occur easiest when outside influences like family are considered through workplace contracts and the provision of flexible work arrangements (Ford, et al, 2007).

If a healthy workplace is one that maximises the integration of worker goals for well-being and the company’s objectives for profitability and productivity, then positive experiences in family roles could contribute to enhanced behavioural outcomes at work, particularly where work-family balance environments are encouraged for employees. Conversely, when relationship problems lead to unhappy relationships and marriages and employees experience separation and divorce (which most often occur in the primary producing years), the impact on employee engagement and profit will impact negatively on companies.

In order to help couple families and companies develop strategies to deal with the multiple demands on employees and their personal relationships, it is vital to devise and implement policies to enable employees to have healthy, functional personal relationships, and be fully engaged at work.

This series of blog posts examines the link between healthy relationships (especially the impact of marriage and relationship education and family wellness programs) on work engagement and business productivity, the factors that affect the quality of work and non-work life and explores the following questions:

  1. Does relationship quality impact on work engagement?
  1. Would the building and integrating of marriage and relationship education and family wellness programs at work increase a company’s overall financial health?
  1. If so, should marriage and relationship education and family wellness be an economically driven priority?

It is important at this stage to clearly articulate the focus of this series of blog posts is specifically about ‘couple families’ and the intersectionality with work/employment. According to the Australia Bureau of Statistics (2017), “Couple families are based around a couple relationship between two persons who are either married or in a de facto partnership and usually resident in the same household. Couples can be same-sex or opposite-sex, and their dependants or children may also be members of the couple family if they all reside in the same household”.

Individuals who would identify as not being in a relationship and/or single are active and highly valued employees within the workplace and the content in this blog post is not intended to undervalue or de-value the important role they play in life more broadly as well as in the workplace.

Tune in next week to understand how Relationship Quality has a positive impact on Work Engagement.

References:

    Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), 2016: Marriage and divorces, Australia
  • Graves, L.M., Ohlott, P.J., & Ruderman, M.N. 2007: Commitment to family roles: Effects on managers’ attitudes and performance. Journal of Applied Psychology, 92, 44-56
  • Ford, M.T., Heinen, B.A., & Langkamer, K.L., 2007: Work and family satisfaction and Conflict: A meta-analysis of cross-domain relations. Journal of Applied Psychology, 92, 57-80

Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

Join us at www.mareaa.asn.au or sign up to our Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/bRigGf