This year, my wife and I have set goals for ourselves individually, as a couple, family goals and work goals. Sure, we cover all the obvious areas such as finances, career, sex, time together, time with friends and family, but what we always find is that our couple goals are what makes up most of the discussion. To drive the discussion we started with the following broad questions:
- How can we gain a greater awareness of our relationship strength and growth areas?
- What do we need to do about the areas we need to work on?
- How do we gage success and how often do we check-in?
- Once achieved, how should we celebrate; and importantly
- How do we ensure open and constant communication!
The Journey When you put effort towards something, it can be helpful to foresee the target goal. Whether you work through these in a single session or over a few weeks, articulating outcomes now and being mindful of them along the way will help guide you and your partner to find success through this journey.
Accountability (or lack of it) can be the reason you reach (or fail to reach) a particular outcome. Write down a few goals and put them where you and your partner can see them. Maybe it’s a shared calendar or on a note taped to the bathroom mirror. Keeping these visual reminders present during the time you are discussing progress to remind you of the energy you are putting into your relationship.
Review: When you create your goals, make sure they are realistic and clearly stated. If you are unsure of what outcomes to commit to, take some time with your partner and talk through what you want to get out of this experience. Will they:
- Increase relationship satisfaction?
- Provide greater understanding?
- Enable greater support of each other?
- Enrich our relationship?
Reflect on the goals you’ve set for your relationship in 2020 and consider how you each will contribute. Revisit your list of desired goals within a week after setting them, then continually assess where progress was made and consider articulating relationship (and family) outcomes to continue the momentum.
Tune in next week for more relationship tips and ideas.
The team at MAREAA wish all our members, friends and families and supporters, a happy, safe and enjoyable Christmas and New Year break.
We thank you for your support in 2019 and we look forward to connecting and making 2020 a special year for marriage and relationship education across Australia.
Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event.
Check out the video for couples on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xyuUl-JnIhM Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online: www.mareaa.asn.au
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