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The Two Faces of Commitment: Strengthen and preserve your identity, make time for each other, have rituals, be friends, talk, walk and listen

Commitment is crucial and an essential ingredient in the recipe for marital success, relationship satisfaction, as well as trust in longevity. Commitment is pledging yourself to each other by word, action and giving up or making choices. However, couples often struggle with commitment due to disenchanted, resentfulness, experiencing conflict or having ‘grass is greener’ visions.

When couples stop acting on commitment in their relationship, they can get off track (something we never dream of when we first get together). The success of a relationship is a strong sound friendship with our partner, staying deeply committed to each other and the partnership so that we can continually build a strong emotional bank account.

It’s critical to nurture closeness and intimacy in your relationship, but don’t forget to maintain your own sense of independence and identity. Through open and overt communication with your partner, seek to find an appropriate balance.

In practice:

Make time for yourself and time for each other, have rituals, be friends, talk, walk and listen:

  • Strengthen and preserve your identity.
  • Think about yourselves as ”WE” and support each other’s hopes and dreams.
  • Talk about long term goals, make decisions together, develop a shared vision for your future.

Make Sacrifices:

  • Put off or postpone things to benefit your relationship.
  • Look for the joy that comes from choosing to do something that will make your partner happy.
  • Don’t tally and count what you do and what they don’t.

I believe we can expect great things in our marriage when commitment, love and skill work together. Sure, there are times in our lives when we have to concentrate on some of these areas specifically or seek support to help us overcome challenges but with support and understanding, we can all enjoy the blessings of a strong and committed partnership.

I hope these tools prove useful and help you enrich your relationship. If you would like further reading on commitment, please contact me on 4979 1370 or

by Robyn Donnelly
Co-ordinator, Marriage & Relationship Education CatholicCare and Secretary and NSW Representative MAREAA.

Marriage and Relationship Education is a learning opportunity, much like you would do in any other important life event. Check out the video for couples on YouTube: Keep up with the latest from the MAREAA online:

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